AITA for Walking Out After My Date Made Weight and Life‑Choice Comments?

A woman met someone online and decided to have a first in‑person date. During their meal, the man told her she was “bigger than what he usually prefers,” then quickly added a compliment, saying he thought she was pretty. Later, when she shared her passion for art, he dismissed it as impractical and suggested people “go far” only posthumously.

When she indicated she didn’t want children, he told her that was a “red flag.” Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, she asked for the check, paid her share, left the date early, and blocked him after he texted calling her “sensitive.” Now she wonders whether she overreacted—and asks if she was wrong.

AITA for leaving a date after a guy made several off-putting comments?

I met someone online, and we decided to meet in person for the first time yesterday. We went out to eat, and while we were waiting for our food, he said I was “bigger than what he usually prefers.” In that moment, I couldn’t help but think, If that’s the case, why go on a date with me at all? My expression must’ve changed because he quickly added, “I didn’t mean anything by it, I think you’re pretty.”

We kept talking, but the atmosphere already felt uncomfortable after that. He asked about my interests, and I told him that art is my passion — I love to draw and paint, and my dream is to someday have my work displayed in well-known galleries. He responded, “Don’t you think it’s smarter to focus on something more practical? Art is cool, but most people don’t go far with it — at least not until after they’re gone.”

I replied that society undervaluing artists is exactly why the world feels dull and lifeless sometimes — because creativity keeps things vibrant and meaningful.

Later in the conversation, he asked if I wanted a family in the future. I said I wouldn’t mind getting married if I met the right person, but I didn’t want children. He said, “Why wouldn’t you want kids? I think it’s a red flag when someone doesn’t like them.”

At that point, I decided we clearly weren’t compatible. I politely asked for the check, requested my food to go, paid for my portion, and left.

When I got home, he texted me saying, “I’m sorry if I offended you. Was it the weight comment? I didn’t think you’d be so sensitive.” I blocked him after that, but a small part of me wonders if I was being too sensitive.

So, AITA for ending the date and walking out after his comments?

source: Reddit

1. Body‑and‑Weight Commentary as a Dating Red Flag

Unsolicited remarks about a person’s body — especially early in a relationship — often signal underlying attitudes rather than harmless observations. For example, the article “Men Commenting On Body Weight & Eating Habits On Dates” highlights how such comments frequently come from insecurity, “negging,” or the attempt to assert control or dominance. Glamour UK
Research further shows that weight‑related comments from a romantic partner are strongly linked to negative outcomes: decreased relationship satisfaction, increased internalized stigma, lower self‑esteem. PMC+1
In this case, the comment “bigger than what he usually prefers” isn’t neutral; it places the woman in a comparison game and shifts the focus from her personality (or shared connection) to her body. That alone can be interpreted as a red flag for emotional dignity and respect.

2. Dismissal of Personal Passions & Career Choices

Another key moment: when she expressed her passion for art and ambition to have her work exhibited, he responded with “Don’t you think it’s smarter to focus on something more practical? Art is cool, but most people don’t go far with it—at least not until after they’re gone.”
This kind of dismissal implies a hierarchy of goals where “practical” (by his standard) trumps “creative” or emotionally meaningful ones. In dating/relationship‑research, one of the markers of healthy compatibility is valuing each other’s ambitions or at least showing curiosity/interest in them. Conversely, dismissing what matters to a partner suggests a lack of alignment, or worse—an underlying belief that your values are somehow lesser. The academic review of “relational red flags” identifies such behaviors—undervaluing a partner’s interests or ambitions—as early indicators of potential long‑term mismatch or even emotional control attempts. repository.lsu.edu

3. Incompatibility Around Family Plans & Core Values

When she said she didn’t want children, his reaction—“I think it’s a red flag when someone doesn’t like them”—signals a strong value mismatch. In dating dynamics, preferences around children, marriage, lifestyle are among the most important alignment factors. A mismatch here doesn’t automatically mean someone is “wrong,” but it does mean compatibility is low if one person insists it is a dealbreaker while the other views it as a fundamental choice.
Given that he framed her preference as a “red flag”, it added judgment on top of difference—another element that tends to erode mutual respect and openness.

4. Putting It Together: Your Decision Was Supported by Evidence

Given the above dynamics—body commentary, dismissal of creative ambition, value‑judgment on life‑choices—the decision to end the date can be viewed as proportional and well within your rights.

• The weight comment isn’t just awkward; research shows such comments are often harmful and can signal deeper disrespect. Trace+1
• Dismissing major passions and telling someone their dreams are naive or impractical is a compatibility issue and a subtle disrespect.
• Framing a personal life decision (not wanting children) as a “red flag” is judgmental and signals one person trying to gate‑keep rather than accept.

In short: you’re not being “too sensitive.” You are responding to a combination of red flags—lack of respect, value‑mismatch, dismissive comments—and choosing to preserve your dignity and comfort.

5. What to Consider for Future Dates

• If you hear comments about your body/size early on → treat it as a red flag, because it suggests how they might consistently evaluate you.
• When you mention your passions and the other person dismisses them as “unrealistic” or “impractical,” ask yourself: do they value me or just tolerate me?
• On core values (like children, marriage, lifestyle) → it’s okay to leave if you sense the other person is unwilling to respect or allow your view, especially if judgment is involved.
• Always trust your comfort level: if you feel uneasy, ignored, or judged, you have full right to exit (just like you did) without guilt.

Verdict: You were not wrong to leave. You exercised healthy boundaries in the face of disrespect, dismissiveness, and misalignment.